Last night, I went to bed crying—not because my parents grounded me or because I failed a test. I was crying because my herpes was back.

Photo by Mat Linek

I was diagnosed with genital herpes last year. I remember sitting next to the phone, praying my test results would come back negative. I had always thought herpes was some nasty disease only prostitutes could get. 

Certainly someone like me could never get it. The next few days were hell. I couldn't eat or sleep. I couldn't think of anything except the truth echoing in my ears. I had herpes.

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that no one is immune to any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), let alone herpes, which is one of the most common. In fact, an estimated one in five Americans over age 12 has herpes. And herpes is spreading fastest among white teens. 

Aside from the emotional strain, the physical pain was terrible. Walking, sitting, and going to the bathroom hurt so bad. I had to bite on a towel to stand the pain. If you ever had canker sores in your mouth, imagine having 20 of them in an even more sensitive area. 

After I got past the hurt, I moved on to the next phase of my infection—anger. I blamed my partner and his sexual history. I blamed God for letting this happen to me. I blamed my health teacher for not telling me crucial information about this STD—like the fact that there is are blood and culture tests for the virus. You can also have it and not know it.  And you can give it to someone else without knowing it. 

How It's Spread

Herpes is transmitted by skin-to-skin contact, usually through oral, vaginal, and anal sex. You can give a partner genital herpes through oral sex if you have a cold sore in your mouth. The virus can also be passed to another person even when there are no sores. 

Some herpes sufferers get painful sores like I had, but everybody is different. Others get much fewer sores—or none at all. Sores can surface anywhere from one day to months or years after you've been exposed.

"The majority of herpes sufferers don't even realize they have the infection," says Marshall Glover, coordinator of the American Social Health Association's National Herpes Resource Center.  "That's why it gets spread so easily."

Of the people who do get sores, most usually get them a few times a year for the first couple of years after they get infected. After that, most people will go years without getting sores. An outbreak usually lasts two to three weeks, but you can take medicine to help shorten the time you have sores, says Robert Bierman, M.D., professor of pediatrics and family medicine at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey. 

It's really important to use a latex condom every time you have sex. But remember, condoms are not foolproof. Only abstinence is. Herpes sores can exist outside the area a condom covers, like the inner thigh. But condoms do reduce your chances of getting herpes and other STDs. 

Once you get herpes, it never goes away. Still, after the initial shock, most people cope with the infection and have long-term relationships. So, it's not the end of the world, but it means you'll have an infection for the rest of your life.

Editors' Note: If you think you have herpes, see a doctor immediately and ask to be tested. For more information, call the National Herpes Hotline at 1-919-361-8488 or check out the National Herpes Resource Center.

The original version of this article appeared in The Pirate's Eye, the newspaper of the West Windsor/Plainsboro Regional High School in New Jersey. Due to the article's sensitive nature, the author's name has been withheld.